Thursday, the day of fear

I'm not going into details in this blog, I just want to simply to put my thoughts n feelings on paper to hopefully clear my head some. Today is a HUGE day in our military lives. At the end of the day, life for us could change completely or it could go on as we know it but it with a higher appreciation level. Lately I have been so super depressed and feeling disconnected from life in general along with my spiritual side. I've been trying to reconnect but it's so hard to do alone. I am hoping that I can witness and show my changes enough that my husband will want to join in. Stress is taking over me lately, I need to do Yoga or meditate or something to help fine my inner peace. (if I have any left.) I just seem to be a worry wort again and I thought I had out grown that. :-/ It just seems that lately it's been more bad news than good. Maybe that's a sign that I'm a bad person??? I'm trying to be better, I'm trying to do more giving and 0 taking. I try to never ask for help, always offering help, and it seems that in the end, all I get out of it is bad news.